The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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