after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I understand Curling. That high.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
