My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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