Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
