I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
