Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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