Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
