so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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