oh god the rape fog is back!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
