and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
