just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
