she smelled like a LAN party
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
