she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
