Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
