He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I skipped work to stalk him.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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