So drunk its hurt
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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