you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
