I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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