Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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