yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
