i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
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Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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