Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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