I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
