he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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