just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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