Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
