No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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