last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
