garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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