just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
