I cockslap morals
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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