I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
