Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
