I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
