Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
