Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
