We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
