I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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