she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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