you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
