I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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