I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Vodka?
Forever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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