just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My vagina just clenched in fear
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
