I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
