I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
