why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
