Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
