Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
