I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
