id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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