he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
