a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
