we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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