Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
