Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize