I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
