People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
