Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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