Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
