Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
