onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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