two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
