And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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