i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
