first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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