you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize