I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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