Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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