these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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